We are back with a special edition of WTF Weekly folks where today we will address the concerning creation of some children’s games hitting the market. Sit back relax and grab your goggles because you don’t wanna get pink eye!!
Growing up I recall the games I had as a kid. The infuriating situation of landing on Park Place and having to pay a shit load of taxes. Those pivotal moments when you’re almost at the finish line and you land on a slide and you find your pathetic ass back at the bottom. Or when you’re losing and someone says, “that’s the game of Life!” Well your bloody nose is a game of chance you just took and you lost…piss off ya wanker. But for the amount of times these board games were flipped in the air in a fit of rage, we still collected the pieces and put it away for another day. We were happy, content and it was a great time. Good lord love a duck what in the blueberry fuck muffins have we got here?
I am upset that video of marketing teams collaboration was not posted for us to witness with the creation of this monstrosity. Who in their right mind approves of this shit…literally!! Somewhere in corporate America there was a boardroom filled with overpaid fuck knuckles brainstorming on a new idea for a kids game. And to my imagination it went something like this…
I have an idea!! What if…now hear me out before you say anything…we had a tiny shitter, you know, a toilet. Sticking out of this thunder drum there was a plunger. You roll the dice and whatever number you get is the amount of times you plunge the crapper. Now…at any time you’re plunging…a fucking flying turd will come rocketing out from the top of the tank! And the shit will be smiling to make it more friendly like. But wait!!! Here’s how you win!! You gotta be the first person to grab the turd!! Oh what fun the kids will have throwing elbows and knocking their siblings over trying to be the first to get the poopy!!
Milton!! You’re a fucking genius! We obviously don’t pay you enough and please refrain from telling us how you came up with that idea. It’s gross, concerning and you might wanna seek therapy, but dammit it’ll work!! Let’s move on this!!
Now I’m no stranger to a fart joke or anything that has to deal with bathroom humor. But to put this into production is a cause for concern. And how did they come up with this? Did someone’s kid from the marketing team leave an upper decker and when they were playing Pauly the plumber, a turd came barreling out from the top? And did they try and snatch it up like they were catching a bouquet at a wedding?! For fucks sake I wouldn’t believe it if I didn’t see it with my own eyes.
Look…we have enough issues with plastics taking over our seas and killing Tulley the turtle and are always looking out for salmonella and mad cow disease. Let’s not forget the fucking gluten situation either. Holy hell the gluten. And to top it all off we are now battling this Coronavirus. But let’s add pink eye to the laundry list of shit that’s going to wipe out society?? Bunch of puss filled eyes walking around but they are happy because they got the turd first!!
I can’t wait until someone posts about having to get their kid from school because they were running around the classroom with a freshly bent biscuit yelling “I WON!!!” Please for the love of everything that is holy make sure you post the classroom video, with audio, if it’s available!! Don’t be a douche and not share!!
That’s It for this this week folks. Make sure you get your science goggles when playing this game or you’re gonna wind up with an epic case of stink eye….literally. Stay tuned to this channel as I’m sure another moment is waiting for me to say, W….T….F!
You’re all a bunch of bloody legends!!!!
Ps…I wonder if Walmart has this game. Who’s up for game night?!