What’s going on shit swizzlers! Have I got one for you! Keep in mind this happened Friday of last week so this week might be a double whammy of WTF Weekly! It’s the gift that keeps on giving. So sit down, don’t drink anything and venture into the world of the completely absentminded.
Friday, Allison and I decided to take a drive to Harry’s Place in Colchester for dinner. A little road side food to comfort the soul as the sadness sets in that summer is coming to a close. We order our food and find a spot at the picnic tables where we patiently wait and enjoy some uninterrupted conversation.
Then I see it out of the corner of my eye. That all too familiar move that everyone performs when the unfortunate happens in the most inconvenient places. That recognizable dance when your ass decides to eat your britches.
This dude who’s waiting for his food attempts to do the strategic conceal and peal and remove the unwelcome intruder clinging to his chocolate starfish, but his efforts are useless. After a few minutes of doing the wedgie waltz, it happens. The moment I immediately said…WTF.
This guy takes his right hand and violently starts digging at his shit shooter. He literally had his booger hooks two knuckles deep as he’s trying to fish this cotton surprise from his hind end. And he wasn’t even trying to be discrete about it. I guess I understand but at the same time the bathroom was right around the corner. He could have walked ten steps and dropped his trousers behind closed doors to rectify the situation. But nope!! He decided to put on a show for everyone in line in the means of ripping into his balloon knot like cat trying to get out of water.
Finally the show ended with a little hip wiggle and a minor squat ensuring his exit hole was free of any obstructions. He got his food and away he went with what seemed like a little pep in his step. Good lord love a duck I hope this dude washes his hands before he starts eating! He’s at risk of getting pink eye!
Today’s lesson!! If your booty hole is that hungry for some cotton appetizers find a discrete place to do your digging. No one wants to see your booger hooks knuckle deep in your vertical smile.
That’s it for today folks! Keep it tuned to this channel for more WTF Weekly as I’m sure I will witness another episode that makes me say W…T…F!!
You’re all a bunch of bloody legends!!