And we are back with another episode of WTF Weekly folks. On this episode we encounter a level of disgustingness that made me want to vomit and almost landed someone a throat punch.
Today, the individual that I work with and I decided we wanted to have lunch at the mall and walk around. What was an innocent trip turned out to be a gut wrenching event which almost landed this soggy bag of dick tips a trip to the ER to surgically remove my shoe from his ass.
As we are walking up to the doors at the food court, a representative from Sprint comes walking out to have a cigarette. As the second set of doors open he starts working up an epic amount of lung butter. This dude sounded like he just got done licking the ass end of a cat and he’s now ready to show everyone what he collected.
He doesn’t even get out of the door when he decides right now would be a good time to launch this slimy lung surprise in my direction and then greet me with a “what’s up bro?”
What’s up bro? I’ll tell you what’s up! Your decision to present your phlegmy gift right as I’m walking in and onto the ground where everyone walks is grounds for getting your head stuffed in your ass. You couldn’t wait and launch that buttery lump of goo into the bushes??
He decides now is a good time to try and be cute by telling me to cool my jets, it’s only spit.
Only spit?! Dude!! You put more effort into working that thing up than you do your job! If I was a llama those would be fighting words and you would surely get llama round housed in the chiclets!! Next time hold that lump of lung butter in your man pleaser and not present it to my feet like a cat bringing its owner a mouse! What the shit Bisquit’s is wrong with you?
He attempted to say something else but gave it a second thought when I started making throw up noises as more people are walking in. As he keeps trying to get a word in the noises got more intense and the bubbling burping noises commenced. All of a sudden he didn’t want his cigarette any longer.
Seriously? If you have to spit, dispose of it in an area where people aren’t going to slip on it, or at someone’s feet!! W….T….F!!!!
Keep your dial tuned to this station as I feel the heat is bringing out the twits, the dumbasses and the morons!!Until next time…stay classy San Diego!
You’re all a bunch of bloody legends!